"In this the year of our Lord, Two-Thousand and Seventeen, somehow, a female likes me. And almost as inexplicably, I like her. How did this happen? How did we get here? Well, I dunno. Somewhere along the line this year I decided "you know what? I think I'll try a dating site. Because, sure OK." It was a friend of mine who was all like "Chill. Don't do that. I got you." And I was like "Word, yo." Fast-forward to now and her and I are still going strong."
Me, "Oh My Earth!" - June 2017
It was just June. This past June! Half a year ago!! I had finally been off the singles market and was, surprisingly, damn happy about it! Now it's 2018, and I'm back on the singles market and, surprisingly (again), I'm damn happy about it!
Now don't get me wrong: I don't hate "Boogie" ('member I called her that? You 'member). I don't even dislike her. She is, in fact a good person and I do wish her the best. But I started questioning myself slightly as far as our "relationship" was concerned. I'm not gonna put everything out there as that's not my style. But I am gonna list some things (she hated when I did that!) that were ultimately the reason I moved on:
1. "Long" Distance
I live in Medford and she lives in the South Shore. Now that's not the longest distance ever, I know. There's a guy here at work who lives in Hyde Park and his girlfriend lives in Nashua (NH!!!!). They've made it work so far, but he's told me how expensive it is to see her. And I can understand that. Going out to her costed too much money (for a Lyft or cab) or way too much time (MBTA, walking). This was starting to become an issue especially since she never came out to see me (she did once, so golf clap to that). I had to travel out there when it was convenient for her, not us.
Sidenote to this point: I found out the day of the break up that the REAL reason she never came out to see me was because "my bathtub is fucking disgusting". That's...weird. My tub is old, and can easily "look" fucking disgusting at times. It truly isn't, but even if it was the most disgusting thing ever, why not tell me? Why not say "clean your tub"? She said she didn't want to hurt my feelings or some shit. Better to not tell me and make me come out there all the time, amirite?
Sidenote to this point: I found out the day of the break up that the REAL reason she never came out to see me was because "my bathtub is fucking disgusting". That's...weird. My tub is old, and can easily "look" fucking disgusting at times. It truly isn't, but even if it was the most disgusting thing ever, why not tell me? Why not say "clean your tub"? She said she didn't want to hurt my feelings or some shit. Better to not tell me and make me come out there all the time, amirite?
2. $$$
I have to clarify what this means. I didn't have to give her money. She never asked for it. She's her own woman with her own money so I'm not talking about it in that sense. I'm more referring to the other stuff; the "going out", or dinner, or things like that. I believe that when a man and woman are first dating, the man should absolutely pay for the first two or three or so dates, no questions asked. And I did that, so no problems there. Here's where the problematic part comes in. I also believe that if you're in a "relationship", and this is what we classified it to be at one point, it should change some. Sometimes I pay, sometimes she pays, sometimes we split it. I got you, you got me. This wasn't happening. This was I got you, I got me. ALWAYS. Couple this with the distance to travel out there all the time, and you can see some of this frustration. I know some will tell me that I'm not a real man and so on and etc., but I can tell that from the feedback I've received from both men and women (who I know AND don't know) and so far most (not all, but definitely the majority) understand where I'm coming from. Dating is wooing. Relationship is already wooed. Didn't think that ever needed to be explained.
3. "What would you think if we took a break?..."
An actual text from her a day or two after Thanksgiving. When I asked her what she meant, she said that it meant that I don't call her every day and instead we talk every other day. Now, that's smelled like the freshest of all the bullshit, but I went with that. When I talked to her the next day, she actually meant temporary break-up. She also explained that the initial lie was told because she was very tired and didn't want me to further question it that night because sleep was badly needed. I simply said this: if we take a break, it's permanent. If you want to break up, that's fine. If not, that's fine too. Breaks are for jobs, not "relationships". After this was said, she was still 50/50 on the break. She eventually said that she didn't want a break and we moved on from there. But honestly, I think that took a toll on me. For someone to kinda sorta wants to break up (even if it the desire was at 3%) that gets in your head.
Sidenote to this point: I found out the day of the break up (*sigh* again) that the REAL reason for the "break" was to essentially make me say "Whoa! She wants to take a break! I should start acting better before I lose her"! This backfired, and I'm certain that my actually reaction frustrated her. Meh.
I know that I'm not perfect. The breakup was...I guess you can say it was controversial. We had an argument on a Friday. I'm not gonna say what it was over, but let's just say Point #2 was involved in some form or fashion. The next day I spent the time thinking to myself. Do I need this "relationship"? Am I with the right person? Do I even need the negativity? By that Sunday I knew the answer - nope. But I didn't tell her right away. My plan was to tell her the following Monday. I posted about a small party on Facebook to celebrate my birthday which was coming up. In the description of that party I said:
The "celebrate my new-found freedom" part. I admit, that was petty AF. By the time I called on Monday, she already knew (somehow. Still wondering about that...) and rightfully was not happy. She "let me have it" and with that, it was over. And I felt really good about it. Then everybody associated with her removed me from their Facebook. And I laughed. Heartily.
2017 was, without question, the weirdest year of my life. So much shit happened that never happened before. And that definitely includes this "relationship". I will move on. She will move on. 2018 will be infinitely better especially since I have no "relationship" to deal with. O my Earth is back to normal.
PS: It's time for me to be a little petty again (I can't help it!)
An actual text from her a day or two after Thanksgiving. When I asked her what she meant, she said that it meant that I don't call her every day and instead we talk every other day. Now, that's smelled like the freshest of all the bullshit, but I went with that. When I talked to her the next day, she actually meant temporary break-up. She also explained that the initial lie was told because she was very tired and didn't want me to further question it that night because sleep was badly needed. I simply said this: if we take a break, it's permanent. If you want to break up, that's fine. If not, that's fine too. Breaks are for jobs, not "relationships". After this was said, she was still 50/50 on the break. She eventually said that she didn't want a break and we moved on from there. But honestly, I think that took a toll on me. For someone to kinda sorta wants to break up (even if it the desire was at 3%) that gets in your head.
Sidenote to this point: I found out the day of the break up (*sigh* again) that the REAL reason for the "break" was to essentially make me say "Whoa! She wants to take a break! I should start acting better before I lose her"! This backfired, and I'm certain that my actually reaction frustrated her. Meh.
I know that I'm not perfect. The breakup was...I guess you can say it was controversial. We had an argument on a Friday. I'm not gonna say what it was over, but let's just say Point #2 was involved in some form or fashion. The next day I spent the time thinking to myself. Do I need this "relationship"? Am I with the right person? Do I even need the negativity? By that Sunday I knew the answer - nope. But I didn't tell her right away. My plan was to tell her the following Monday. I posted about a small party on Facebook to celebrate my birthday which was coming up. In the description of that party I said:
The "celebrate my new-found freedom" part. I admit, that was petty AF. By the time I called on Monday, she already knew (somehow. Still wondering about that...) and rightfully was not happy. She "let me have it" and with that, it was over. And I felt really good about it. Then everybody associated with her removed me from their Facebook. And I laughed. Heartily.
2017 was, without question, the weirdest year of my life. So much shit happened that never happened before. And that definitely includes this "relationship". I will move on. She will move on. 2018 will be infinitely better especially since I have no "relationship" to deal with. O my Earth is back to normal.
PS: It's time for me to be a little petty again (I can't help it!)
- Recently I dealt with a bad UTI and yeast infection (Weird '17 shit). I had never had one before. I know that as a diabetic that something like that could happen, and I'm pretty sure she had nothing to do with that, but...I think things, is all...
- Her family was cool. Her mother makes fantastic chicken. Not better than mine, but fantastic nonetheless...
- Apparently, her ex once called her "an ugly and evil woman", the "ugly" part having to do with her personality, not her looks. Evil is way too harsh and she is absolutely not that. Ugly? I can see that...
- I'm confident that my ED (more Weird '17 shit) was self-defense. My body knew better...
OK that's it.
#removeme
#removeme
