The Asshole

Let’s talk about this guy I know. I need a codename to call him, and since Boogie has been taken, I’ll need a name, a basic normal name to use. Let’s call him…”Joe”.

“Joe” used to be the security manager at my current job (a set of residential buildings in Cambridge). He was known for being somewhat of a douche. No people-skills. Just hard-assery 24/7/365. The people in the buildings hated talking to him because he was so cold and sour. Even in my limited time knowing him I saw how much of an douche-mountain this guy was. About two weeks ago “Joe” left and became manager at a building in the Seaport area, presumably to be a douche there and make life miserable there as well. I became the new manager in Cambridge. When I talk to the residents here, the conversations almost always go like this:

Resident: Hey, are you the new security manager here?
Me: Yes I am.
Resident: Oh good! That other guy was such an asshole.
Me: lol

Never fails. Every single day, I get that exchange from someone. And it's not just the residents either – the contractors and vendors that stop by on a regular basis hate the man. The only difference between each resident’s/contractor’s conversation with me is whatever word(s) used to describe “Joe". Asshole. Mean. No good. Sucks. Fucking idiot. All of these things have been used to describe him. I’ve even heard “racist”, however that one is pushing it, in my opinion. He’s not racist, but when you seem like a douche-canoe to everybody, I can see how one may come to that conclusion.

I've called myself an asshole before, but I'm not really. My honesty can absolutely be mistaken for assholishness (that's not a word, I know...), but I'm pretty tame. I've made a pretty decent life out of being as nice as I possibly can. That is the customer service in me; I want people happy if it can be helped. And most times, it can be helped. The way “Joe” did things here kinda upset me, mainly because it was so unnecessary. Why be an asshole? Why make some of these families' lives that much more depressing? Why make these contractors hate to ask you a simple question? Why seem like you don't care about anyone else's feelings but yours? Why be the Titanic of douchebaggery if it's not needed?

But there was a specific moment last week that made me know that I might be doing the right thing when it comes to just being a nice person. A old man came to the office and didn't know where he was going. He didn't live in the buildings, but he received a letter saying that he's a finalist for an apartment. After talking with him and explaining what office to go to, he thanked me and told me how good a person I was. After his office visit he thanked me once again gave me his card. It turns out that he is/was a lawyer. At one time, he even represented Nelson Mandela! He told me to keep being the person that I am; the world needs more like me. I was humbled to say the least. I looked him up online and it also turns out that the city of Cambridge honored him by naming a street corner after him. I couldn't believe it when I saw it. One of his quotes from the articles that I love:

“People will have good health and good life if they do good things. You are not born to make money and to do evil.”

Now what does that have to do with "Joe"? He is the literal opposite of that man. Hell, he's the literal opposite of me. I have complete confidence that the Mr. Laher would not have told "Joe" the same things he told me. "Joe" is not about that "good" life.

So please, if you take anything from this post let it be this:

Don't be like "Joe".

Oh My Earth!

"I stay single, great. A girl comes and changes my earth, great. I'm prepared either way."

That was me two years ago. Totally content with not being with any woman. Just sitting there OK with this. What a dumb ass. I would tell that version of me to cut the shit. 

In this the year of our Lord, Two-Thousand and Seventeen, somehow, a female likes me. And almost as inexplicably, I like her. How did this happen? How did we get here? Well, I dunno. Somewhere along the line this year I decided "you know what? I think I'll try a dating site. Because, sure OK." It was a friend of mine who was all like "Chill. Don't do that. I got you." And I was like "Word, yo." Fast-forward to now and her and I are still going strong. 

And it's all crazy to me. I didn't think I was desirable or wanted or anything like that, but this girl (who I will now refer to as Boogie for the rest of this blog because I needed an incognito name and why not Boogie) has proved me wrong. Boogie has been great for me (whether she believes it or not) simply because she gives me (among other things) more confidence than I can ever ask for. And judging from my previous posts, I believe I lacked confidence. And I would never admit that, either. I can be stubborn like that.

This won't be long drawn-out post. I just basically wanted to say this: Go get it. Pretty much disregard my other "being single" blog posts. They're stupid posts. It's out there, but the only way to get it is to GO GET IT. I got Boogie. Go get your own Boogie.

I think my Earth changed, y'all.

PS. I hope Boogie was a good incognito name. ;)

DAMN. It All

On Friday, April 14th, 2017, Kendrick Lamar may have cemented himself as one of the greatest rappers to ever do it when he released DAMN. You can legitimately argue whether or not this is his greatest album (it's not IMO) but you can no longer argue his place among the greats. He hasn't released a bad album in his life, and I think he's incapable of doing such a thing. Section.80 was a classic. Good Kid, M.A.A.D City was a classic. To Pimp a Butterfly was a classic and one the greatest albums ever. Even Overly Dedicated and untitled unmastered were great. He's allergic to making bad music. But for some reason, in 2017, there are a decent amount of people who dislike King Kenny. And who do I blame for this?

Lil Yachty.

Well, not just Lil Yachty. There's a whole bunch of people with a whole bunch of reasons (from somewhat legitimate to lololololol) as to why they dislike this man.

It's starts with the "rappers" of today. The Yachtys and Desiigners and Migoses (is that how you would spell that?) of the world. Mumblers. They're trash, but since trap music life, they're "great". They have people believing that their version of rap is how is should be. Meanwhile the Kendricks and J. Coles of the rap world are overlooked. One of the prevailing opinions of Kendrick's newest albums that I've been reading is that it's "good lyrically, but musically it's trash". This is an opinion, so i can't call them wrong, but these opinions are wrong. Like if I can't murder the sub woofer of a car with this album it sucks. FOH. I've also seen "it sucks lyrically and musically". These are the people who believe Lil Wayne is the greatest rapper ever. Their opinions are invalid. But it's not just mumblers that have a problem with Duckworth. March 30, 2017, Kendrick released his biggest single ever, HUMBLE. It was an immediately hit. Millions of views with an hour on YouTube. Successful AF. 

I'm so fuckin' sick and tired of the Photoshop

Show me somethin' natural like afro on Richard Pryor

Show me somethin' natural like ass with some stretch marks

Oh shit. With these lines in the song his next group of unsupporters showed up: feminists! Hooray! Now I'm not going to bash all feminists because I do personally know a few and I understand how women need to be treated fairly and equally on this very sexist planet of ours. But the above lines do not show me any misogyny. Unless I am completely misunderstanding the actual definition of the word. Totally possible. nah

The anger seems to stem from the "don't tell women how they should look" school of thought. This anger would be justified IF Kendrick was speaking from a place of malice. Believe it or not, he's trying to uplift a woman, Don't believe me? Section.80, listen to the pre-mainstream song No Make-Up (Her Vice). He's been saying shit like this for years, but now is time to dog him. Gotcha. Hell, Kendrick doesn't catch slack for some of the obvious misogynistic shit he says, but when it's not obvious (or even non-existent) is when everyone loses it.

And then, most curiously of all maybe, there are some Black women who dislike the man. I 've always believed that this is due to darker-skinned women disliking that fact that Kendrick's fiance, Whitney Alford, identifies as Black (she is half-Black), but is light-skinned. Why do I believe this? Click here. Need more than that? Look up Carter Kim. She is the woman you see in the HUMBLE. video. She said in an interview recently that has gotten some criticism from darker-skinned Black women. Guess why?

Look. Dislike the man if you just don't like his style. I'm cool with that. Dislike him if you wished he wasn't so political in songs. That's fine too (just don't go around loving Nas). But some of this dislike is unnatural and borderline insane. Carter Kim, take me home:

"I feel like a lot of people are blaming Kendrick and pretty much are throwing the heat on Kendrick for this whole situation being not feminist. But it’s almost like people aren’t understanding the real picture, and the real picture is not just him but guys appreciate a natural girl. Whether you decide to wear makeup or you don’t, it’s just to make girls feel more comfortable. You know what, guys do like girls with no makeup. You don’t have to dress up every day to impress somebody or get the guy that you want or things like that. They’re not always looking for the girl that’s the most done up or the extra pretty girl, they’re mostly looking for somebody that’s genuine and humble and modest and has a good personality. I think that’s the whole picture that people are missing; the whole purpose of the video. It’s for all women, not just Black women, not just light skin women. I also feel like people are kinda missing that. I feel like women are very particular today in how they want to be portrayed and every time that’s trying to be achieved, it’s not good enough or something’s wrong with it. So that’s kinda how I feel on the whole negative end of the feminist situation, I guess. I’m definitely for women’s empowerment, for sure. I just feel like to criticize another woman or to criticize a man who’s just trying to portray a natural woman and being a feminist, I think that’s a little bit backwards. But that’s just my personal opinion, I guess, on the situation."

Damn.