Saturday, March 21, 2015

The Grand Social Extroversion of Derrick Lavell Williams

1. A shy person
2. A person chracterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings

Sounds mostly like me.

1. An outgoing, gregarious person
2. A person concerned primarily with the physical and social environment

Sounds mostly what I want to be.

Going over my last post - the one where I sounded like I hate women, but don't - I realized that the fear of acceptance (or rejection, for that matter) should have nothing to do with my (lack of) social interactions. I don't fear acceptance from people on a social level. And I certainly don't fear rejection from people. I like people (mostly). I have a small group of friends, but I've become so comfortable with having those friends that I don't try to make new ones. It's disturbing.

So I came to a conclusion: extroversion. Plain and simple. Let's get out there and meet people. I have a job now that lets me explore that even further (because...$$$). But here are some roadblocks and how I plan on busting through them:

1. I dislike nightclubs.
I'm not a dancing maniac or anything. And while delicious, alcohol is not a regular occurrence for me. And I'm also not a big fan of crowded clubs. Too many people. And sometimes, too many drunk people. And also sometimes, too many drunk people hurricane-barreling into me while they "dance".

Solution: Go more often. Not enough to be a regular, but go and get over it. Don't drink much. Realize that drunk people are extroverted (to an extreme level, but still).

2. I dislike crowds of people.
And I'm talking about "no space to turn" crowds. This isn't just related to clubs, either: bars, parties, parades, buses, trains, elevators, all of 'em.

Solution: I usually let buses, trains, and elevators pass by if they're full. I'm not a small guy: I feel like me squeezing onto things annoys people. And I don't like to annoy people. Well, it's time to annoy people. I'll use buses and trains as sort of a training program. If I can be OK with being on a crowded Green Line train, I can be OK anywhere. And if I have to annoy some people along the way, fine by me. They should know that they are helping me become a better, social person.

3. I dislike going to large, social events (like parties) where I only know one or two people.
This is a a lot like problem #1, but it forces two different options: either (a) mingle, network, and socialize, or (b) babysit a wall/post/room/front porch.

Solution: Mingle, network, and socialize. Simple enough.

4. I dislike spending money socially...kinda.
This is mainly due to the fact that I have usually had inconsistent and/or low-paying jobs. And since social interactions were low on my list, I felt the need to spend elsewhere.

Solution: For the first time ever, I have both a steady AND good-paying job. So no more monetary-based excuses. Gotta make it rain. Thanks Obama!

These four things can be worked on. There used to be a fifth roadblock, but that has been fixed completely. In my last post, I said:

"I'm a gamer...I'm not stopping."

Well, I've mostly stopped. Gaming used to prevent me from going anywhere or doing anything. Back this past Black Friday, I bought a PS4. At that time I knew that I was going to be at school during the week, but I figured that I can play till I fall out on the weekends (since I had nothing going on anyway). I sold my PS4 a couple of months later. I didn't feel like playing it - not even on the weekends. And that was before I wanted to be a socialite. I am no longer going to school, but I don't miss the PS4, either. I still game a little (and when I say a little, a mean a little), but it will no longer stop me from doing something or going somewhere. My Grand Social Extroversion of 2015 is real, and it will change me for the better. I'm certain of that.

Still don't think I'm looking for a romantic relationship, though. Although that sentence itself is a sign of progress. "Don't think" is better than "never, nope, not at all, LOLWOMEN" though. 

Yay for progress!